Post by Buck Wylde on Jan 25, 2013 20:54:40 GMT -5
Backstage at the New Years Evil event, something very special is about to happen. You're all about to be exposed to a man who many long thought was gone the way of his old running buddies. Gone, missing, retired... possibly dead. I mean, this man should have David Carradine'd himself... but,
you just really don't get that lucky. Cameras catch up to the man backstage at the PPV. The newly signed...
"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadies... and, assholes... *ahem*, introduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!!!!!!!
BUCK WYLDE!"
Buck pushes play on a shitty boombox next to him, giving a canned ovation to his announcement.
"Thank you, thank you. It's really not necessary. No, thank you. Ye... thank you. Oh... thank you..." The ovation when it played was brief. But sometimes, you just roll with it. "Don't act like you don't know who I am VPW, and to a lesser extent, I:W. Actually, you fuckers should know who I am. I'm the one who was totally inside you that one time when you had some different initials. Bet you wished you coulda signed me... but fuck ya... ya didn't. VPW had the balls... and now you're looking at the man who puts the VIRAL in VIRALPROWRESTLING. And not only just because it doesn't burn when I pee.
ANYWAYS... if you ain't see it... I'm not in the skin flick biz anymore. Seems 30's the exit age for that joint... and I tried to ride the "I was famous that one time" train for probably a year too long until I stopped even getting convention invites... and now? I just really wanna...
slap everyone in this goddamn company."
Buck's hand zooms towards the camera, which jars as the camera man just got slapped. "Aw, you see? I just slapped you!" He runs over to catering, same girly slaps dished out. "Oh, jeez! I've gone slap happy! Here's a little over the should slap! I'm slap slap slapping, slapping you in the face!"
Buck keeps up this rampage, really one that should be scrutinized by officials, before stopping to look at the camera. "Wait... why am I slappin' these bitches for? They ain't supposed to fight me!"
The camera zooms in on a sign that says "Mens Locker Room." Buck kicks the door with hostility.
"NOBODY MOVE!!!"
I swear to sweet baby Jesus I'm gonna slap everyone in this goddamn locker room if I gotta to get a match..."
Buck raises his hand, menacingly to the crowd while keeping his distance.
"So, what's it gonna be? You vs me? Or am I gonna have to slap your face so haaaaaaaaard?"
you just really don't get that lucky. Cameras catch up to the man backstage at the PPV. The newly signed...
"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadies... and, assholes... *ahem*, introduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!!!!!!!
BUCK WYLDE!"
Buck pushes play on a shitty boombox next to him, giving a canned ovation to his announcement.
"Thank you, thank you. It's really not necessary. No, thank you. Ye... thank you. Oh... thank you..." The ovation when it played was brief. But sometimes, you just roll with it. "Don't act like you don't know who I am VPW, and to a lesser extent, I:W. Actually, you fuckers should know who I am. I'm the one who was totally inside you that one time when you had some different initials. Bet you wished you coulda signed me... but fuck ya... ya didn't. VPW had the balls... and now you're looking at the man who puts the VIRAL in VIRALPROWRESTLING. And not only just because it doesn't burn when I pee.
ANYWAYS... if you ain't see it... I'm not in the skin flick biz anymore. Seems 30's the exit age for that joint... and I tried to ride the "I was famous that one time" train for probably a year too long until I stopped even getting convention invites... and now? I just really wanna...
slap everyone in this goddamn company."
Buck's hand zooms towards the camera, which jars as the camera man just got slapped. "Aw, you see? I just slapped you!" He runs over to catering, same girly slaps dished out. "Oh, jeez! I've gone slap happy! Here's a little over the should slap! I'm slap slap slapping, slapping you in the face!"
Buck keeps up this rampage, really one that should be scrutinized by officials, before stopping to look at the camera. "Wait... why am I slappin' these bitches for? They ain't supposed to fight me!"
The camera zooms in on a sign that says "Mens Locker Room." Buck kicks the door with hostility.
"NOBODY MOVE!!!"
I swear to sweet baby Jesus I'm gonna slap everyone in this goddamn locker room if I gotta to get a match..."
Buck raises his hand, menacingly to the crowd while keeping his distance.
"So, what's it gonna be? You vs me? Or am I gonna have to slap your face so haaaaaaaaard?"