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Post by butts2faces on Feb 7, 2013 16:20:31 GMT -5
Mari Pan's nostrils flare with excitement as she lovingly looks at the masterpiece she had just created. Not just one, not just two, not just three, but eight! Yes, eight meat patties laying together in horizontal bliss cushioned by greeny-green lettuce, sixteen slices of American cheese and more tomatoes than Mari had fingers and toes. It wasn't every today that Mari Pan allowed herself to express her "meatistic" expression but when a restaurant offers a Quadruple Bypass Cheeseburger she couldn't help herself, she had to combine two of them together as one monster burger!
The customers and staff alike inside the Heart Attack Grill had watched in amazement for the last fifteen minutes as Mari lost herself within her art. It wasn't that she was making a gigantic mess at her table, she never allowed a single leaf of lettuce touch the floor. The organized chaos that had lead to each patty holding strong significance in the structuring of her meat tower told her audience that this wasn't her first rodeo and they watched in absolute awe as each slice of cheese, tomato and lettuce held their own purposes. Mysterious purposes only known to the meatstuction worker herself, Mari Pan. The audience wanted to applaud, cheer and urge her on as the tower grew taller and taller, but each person was afraid that any breath could have been potentially fatal, even newly arriving customers were told to "hush" as soon as they entered the establishment.
Now it was over, the tower completed with a single sesame seed bun. They watched with smiles on their faces as Mari Pan's imagination began to explode with ideas on how to consume it. A fork and knife where completely out of the question, and burgers were never meant to be eaten with the use of utensils. Mari should have banged her head against a wall for even thinking of such a ridiculous idea. Dividing the burger into parts and eating it was also stupid, and made the effort into creating her monster a complete waste of her time. There was only one way to devour this burger and potentially get a heart attack: Mari was going to have open wide and eat it the old fashioned way.
Massaging her jaw, readying it for its quest, Mari licked her lips as the aroma of its ingredients still lingered on the tips of her fingers. Today, without a doubt, was going to be the best day of her life...at least until she made the sixteen-patty burger. Yes, that day was definitely going to outshine this one. "Itadakima-"
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Post by Deleted on Feb 7, 2013 17:25:19 GMT -5
There was one person in particular who wasn't cheering or applauding what was happening right now.
"Ugh. I can't look at her mouth when she gets like this."
Sitting at the other end of the booth, with a look of complete disgust on her face, was one Allison Taylor. She grabbed her tupperware filled with a nice, healthy salad she had prepared herself and pulled it closer to her, trying to avoid any excess grease that may drip off of the abomination that Mari created in front of her. Allison didn't know who in their right mind would go to an establishment called the Heart Attack Grill and order something named a Quadruple Bypass burger. Mari must be twice as crazy as anyone else here because she went ahead and ordered two of them. That's more meat than any normal human being should consume in one sitting. This is what happens when Allison allows Mari to decide where they would go to have lunch. Mari knows that Allison isn't a fan of places like this, or any place where meat is the big attraction. She was vegetarian, afterall and didn't support the consumption of animals.
Every fiber in her being was urging her to stop the inevitable visit to the hospital that would happen if this were to go any further. Friends don't let friends do something completely reckless and bad for their health, right?
She moved her salad to the side. Hoping to avoid contamination if her actions result in the unthinkable.
"No. No, no, no. I cannot allow this to happen."
Allison inched her hand forward across the table and carefully grabbed the wrapper the mountain of meat sat upon. Then she slowly began to pull the burger away from Mari's side of the table.
"In good conscience, I simply cannot let you destroy your body like this. I'm afraid that this time... No, Mari, you can't has cheeseburger."
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Post by butts2faces on Feb 8, 2013 4:14:47 GMT -5
Hissing loudly as Allison slid her cheeseburger away, Mari gave her the devil of all expressions. She had forced herself from salivating as she put together her masterpiece, fearful that her lust for a cheeseburger would have distracted her from the bigger picture. Now that she was done, allowing her emotions to completely overtake her, she had all intentions on devouring it regardless of Allison's monitoring. "If Mari can't has cheeseburger, Allison can't has salad." Unfortunately for Allison, she had left her salad unattended having used both her hands to drag the cheeseburger away from her friend. Getting her paws on the plastic container Mari quickly swiped towards herself, shielding it with her strong arms. "This isn't good for you either. Don't you want to be strong? We're wrestlers, we have to eat lots of meaty MEAT! This? You're going to stay really, really, really, really puny. How are you going to lift people over your head when you're eating such lights amounts of proteinyaa?"
Mari Pan also had issues with Allison Taylor's diet. They were a team, the Kitten Coalition, it her duty to make sure Allison was in tip-top shape for their competition! When she was given the opportunity to chose their eating location Mari chose the Heart Attack Grill without a moment's hesitation. Her disappointment as Allison snobbishly brought her food into the establishment had forced Mari to order two quadruple bypass burgers to compensate for any lost sales. So, it was totally Allison's fault in the first place. "I'm still convinced you stole my tuna anyway. So, you're not really a 100% committed vegatarianyaa!" Bumblebee Tuna was on sale a week ago and Mari had spent the majority of her paycheck buying cases of it. Mari had priorities. "Why eat this? Why torture yourself? Give in to the meat parade!" This morning two cans of her tuna were missing, and Allison was the only logical culprit.
"Y'know...I should just throw this away. Then you would have to eat meat." Looking around for the nearest garbage can, Mari began to tease getting up from the table hopeful that her friend would offer a trade as she held her salad hostage.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 8, 2013 17:13:31 GMT -5
"Wait, wait, wait! Don't do anything drastic!"
Allison waved her hands to stop Mari from tossing out her salad. It was the only thing that she had brought to eat and she feared she would have to resort to desperate measures to find sustenance. The thought of having to eat... To be forced to... Allison almost gagged. Gross. She'd rather run the risk of having to pick the lettuce, onions, and tomatoes from one and washing them off in the bathroom in order to make them remotely edible. It was unthinkable that she would have to eat meat. Mari was correct about the tuna that had gone missing. Allison knew where the missing tuna had gone to, but it certainly wasn't consumed by her. That wasn't important right now. She had to come up with some kind of plan to both rescue her own meal from the clutches of her partner.
Then it hit her.
"Compromise! Compromise!"
She snapped her finger and pointed at Mari.
"A compromise! You give me back my salad... And I'll give you back... part of this... thing here. Only part of it, though. It's not healthy to eat this whole thing in one sitting, right? You can some of it now... And we'll take the rest of it home for later. That way, you'll be able to enjoy the same... delicious... experience more than once. Right?"
Allison hoped that would be enough to convince Mari to relinquish her hostage salad. Multiple times to feast. Who could resist that?
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Post by butts2faces on Feb 10, 2013 23:28:20 GMT -5
It was quite the proposition. Mari really had to think about it. Eyebrows curled, she looked down at her own reflection through the plastic container. Allison was a smart cookie, she had this knack for thinking two, maybe even five moves ahead whereas Mari tended to act in the moment, paying no mind to any potential consequences. Sitting back down, she hungrily licked her lips, her stomach growling loudly in return. "I wanna eat all of it." Keeping her head down, she then slowly moved her pupils upward to look at Allison. "Right nyaaow."
It definitely wasn't healthy to eat the entire eight-patty burger in one sitting. Mari understand that Allison was right in that regard. However, the trio had garnered the audience. They collectively "aww'ed" when Allison slid the burger away, and their eyes filled with hope when Mari took her salad in return. They wanted to see a hungry woman single-handedly eat the monstrosity being argued about at their table. Mari Pan wasn't about to disappoint her carnivorous hopefuls. The only way she was going to win was to turn their crowd against Allison's blessings.
"You always do this," putting on her best cutesy voice, Mari Pan began to try and work her magic, "Remember when we went to Veggie Surplus you ordered the largest most greenieest green salad they had? Filled with all sorts of fruits and vegetables. I wouldn't eat mine, so I let you have it. Then you combined them into one super-duper combo salad, something that definyaaitely wasn't on the menu. You ate it. All of it. Right there, right in front me knowing that I wasn't eating anything. You just grabbed your plastic fork and dug right in, losing yourself not even paying attention to little old me~" The crowds' eyes collectively grew red as they gave Allison death stares. Mari Pan wasn't little either, she towered Allison, even while sitting. The crowd didn't seem to notice, Mari was obviously the victim! "I was a good friend, so I sat there and kicked my feet back and forth as I watched what I imagined a live-taping of a Food Network television show looked like." Pointing upward, Mari then quickly dug a hand into her pocket. "I may have even recorded it on my phone..."
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Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2013 1:22:21 GMT -5
"Erm... You recorded that?"
...Allison had almost forgotten about that day. It was one of the few times that Allison actually got her way when it came to deciding what to eat. She had to pull out the big guns in order to defeat her partner. It was round after round of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Some people say it's an evil game, but it was the only way she could get Mari to let her pick lunch. Allison didn't know that her partner had recorded that outing. The herbivore in her went a little overboard. One salad is simply not fulfilling. It was one of the biggest downsides to her diet. Sometimes she needed to eat quite a bit in order to fill her stomach. There was only one problem with Mari's counter attack...
"Before we start displaying some obviously doctored video footage of some actress playing yours truly in an embarrassing moment of weakness..."
Allison put her elbows on top of the table and interlocked her fingers in front of her face. She looked up through her glasses at Mari with a stare of the utmost intensity, engaging in the Gendo Pose. It was time play a game of mental chess with her partner.
"There is one fatal flaw in your defense..."
A smile stretched across her face. She had this debate in the bag.
"My super-duper combo salad only left one satisfied Allison... While your Quadruple Bypass burger will cause one Mari to need serious medical attention ASAP. Now... How do I explain to the paramedics that my friend has fallen into a meat induced coma against my wishes? Hmm? How are we supposed to compete in a match when one of us has succumbed to their cravings of meat?"
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Post by butts2faces on Feb 11, 2013 1:58:56 GMT -5
No, no, anything but the Gendo Pose! Mari Pan couldn't even see her partner's pupils as her glasses suddenly flashed a brilliant white. Her fingers folded, the obvious finger-tip massage to her knuckles giving Allison Taylor the utmost of her mental strength. Things looked bleak, and Mari's cuteness had no effect. She was a Gastly towards her Rattata, completely ineffective. "You don't know that!"
Mari slammed her hands against the table, hopeful that it hurt Allison's elbows, forcing her to break the pose. "OBJECTIONYAA! I've never eaten a burger this large, you have no evidence to support a meat-induced coma!" Breaking her focus, Mari looked upward. "Though...that would be pretty cool, BUT!" She couldn't lose her focus now, she needed to win! Epically pointing at Allison, she continues to explain herself. "You've seen me eat before! I'm a champion carnyaaivore! I can out-eat anyone in a meat-contest, you've seen my trophies! An eight-patty burg-" A falling bread bun caught Mari's attention as she watched it fall right on top of the plastic container. Curious, she looked at, wondering where it came from. It was only when she turned her focus to the reflecting container that she realized what was happening.
The world went into slow motion as the fallen bun created a domino effect...or more likely, Mari's suddenly table slamming. The sky above their table began to rain burger ingredients as Mari watched her masterpiece crumble. Patty after patty unleashed its own set of burger-waves as their table became a cesspool of deceased cattle. Mari's eyes went white as her mouth fell agape, her shoulders slinking. Her dream of eating an eight-patty burger turned into a nightmare.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2013 2:31:09 GMT -5
The crowd that was watching simply stared at what had occurred, completely awestruck. All that work and it was for nothing.
"Mother of God..."
...Allison removed her glasses and looked at the disaster created by Mari and her earthquake-causing hands. She had to hold the tear in that had been forming in her eye. It was that tragic. Mari had caused the leaning Tower of Meatza to crash all around the table. That wasn't even the worst of it. No. The worst of it came in the form of a burger bun, obviously soaked in the juices of the patties, falling directly into the plastic container that housed her salad. All that goodness that awaited her had become contaminated. There was no saving it.
"It's infected."
If Allison could summon the flames of India into her cheeks and incinerate the tupperware, she would. That is the only response she could thing of. Unfortunately, she is incapable of performing that act. She required more training before she could spit fire.
A sound rumbled beneath the table. The sound of Allison's stomach letting the world know it starved and the realization that the only thing it could digest without erupting like a volcano was no longer available.
"Well... It looks like no one will get to eat now. I hope you're happy, Mari. Now, I'm going to starve."
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Post by butts2faces on Feb 11, 2013 12:32:01 GMT -5
Still awestruck herself, Mari Pan blankly stared at her disaster. Her entire world fell apart in just a matter of seconds. Mari was going to eat the burger with the cheers of the crowd supporting her. She was going to jump onto the table and strike a victory pose when it was all finished, showered by the confetti her audience made out of napkins. The owner of the establishment would have obviously given her a prize, perhaps a life-time supply of free cheeseburgers. Her goal foiled by the young woman sitting across from her. Yes. This wasn't Mari's fault! Nose twitching, Mari blinked, pupils still gone. Slowly, her head jerked up, eventually looking into the starving soul of Allison Taylor. "First you steal my tunyaa." Her voice was low, a snarl growing underneath it. Our of pure anger Mari then slammed her forearms against the table, paying no mind to the food that splashed onto her face in the process. "Then you tooked my cheeseburger." Feeling ketchup on her lips, she quickly licked with the tip of her mouth, her nostrils now flaring. "AND THEN YOU RUINYAA MY PRECIOUS!" Diving her paws into Allison's tarnished salad, Mari then creates a very menacing salad ball, using the bun to add that extra 'umph.' Cuffing it into one hand she then reels back, the flame of vengeance consuming her, and launches it at Allison's face. "BAKA!!!"
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2013 18:12:33 GMT -5
*SPLAT* The salad-burger bun ball of death smacked Allison square in the face. One could almost hear the sound of "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap playing in the background while the ball flew through the air and hit Allison. She tried to avoid it, but these fast food restaurant booths were cramped and it wasn't the easiest thing in the world to dodge something being thrown at you from two feet away. The bread and lettuce ball hit Allison and exploded. This action caused her to drop from the side of the booth onto the floor and writhe in pain. It didn't actually hurt because... Well... it was a ball made of lettuce and bread. Not exactly the same as getting hit in the face with a baseball, but for dramatic effect, Allison pretended that the thing burned her flesh. "Oh noez! It burns! It burns!" It might as well have. Everything had been contaminated with the disgusting burger grease from Mari's mountain of meat. Allison placed one hand over her face while wildly waving the other hand in the air above her. "Somebody get me a napkin! Please! A napkin! It burns!"
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